Thursday, May 7, 2015

Finding Calm within Chaos

May 6, 2015

I have to admit today was a difficult one.
So much going on, so many check boxes to tick, two track life full speed ahead. 

I struggled all day knowing there is so much to get done, yet couldn't focus correctly.  Has this ever happened to you?

It's frustrating ...period.

Being alone at the boat for a good part of the day was good - I despise when my unsettled mood is opened to's not often, and I try to not share it.  But yesterday was an exceptionally hard mental day and actually spilled over my negative energy (My apologies to those who were near my bubble of unsettled-ness).  

I have not figured out yet the true cause although conclusions have been drawn. Overwhelmed with boat tasks, house tasks, logistics of 'stuff' (stuff to get rid of, stuff to store, stuff to setup), nervous about prepping house for rental, nervous about the trip it self, am I prepared, will I miss the routine, yet looking forward to the lack thereof, Wanting to be on the boat Now, yet have so much to prepare prior, anxious for my son who is having a hard time transitioning as the house becomes more and more bare, excited for my other son who wants to celebrate the changes, 6 weeks until we move on the boat, 7 weeks to be out of the house, tick-tock, etc...etc...

Emotionally askew in a world moving forward.  

It wasn't until this evening at Cal's cub scout meeting I had a chance to be still, stop and walk. Let me preface, I was his pack leader, but a few months ago handed over the reigns.  I usually assist in some way but tonight I excused myself, which allowed me the opportunity to be still.   Meetings are held on church property, of which there is a cemetery. And this is where I found some calm.

Among the gravestones, inscriptions and the sun setting streams of light - there was quiet, solitude and calm.

The stillness of the bodies below, grounded me.  

Thankful for the moments presented and appreciated!    I can't say the uneasiness is fully purged, but at least I have some clarity.  

The universe surrounds us with beauty, we just need to take notice.
Enjoy a few pictures from the moments of calm.