Monday, November 24, 2014

Two Track Life

November 24th, 2014

I read a post last night from another cruising family.  And She wrote a very interesting blog about what she was feeling during the year prior to departing on her journey.  She called it the 'Place in between".  Read the excerpt...from Our Life with Ceol Mor
Any mom trying to be full on Super Mom knows that no matter how good a job you do, nobody gives you high fives. I know the girls are doing well so that is thanks enough but it does contribute to making this final countdown feel a bit tough at times.The kids are doing great and are engaged, busy and happy but I have this weird 'in flux ' feeling going on. I am not really connected with everything going on in suburbia because we are leaving. Its this really bizarre feeling of being here, but at the same time NOT being here. It is existing some place in between.
Its not a place of sadness. Nor is it a place of disappointment or anxiety. Its just this really strange place to be. In all of the writings I have read, I've never seen anyone discuss how weird it is to be neither here nor there in the last year. In one on one conversation, it seems that EVERYONE has this feeling. They just never talk about it. Not certain exactly why, but there it is.
So we are rolling into 2014. 2014, the year that we will no longer be living in the in between but will be actively cruising. I am looking forward to it more than I can say. Not just because we have been actively pursuing this for over 4 years now but because it will mean that I will be living a little more in the here and now. And that is the whole point of this adventure.
It was a neat read for me, for I too am feeling a sense of this.  This quasi presence to your current life realities and the ever growing list of things to do to prepare.  Feeling distant but being present.  

I have had discussions about it with friends and family and termed it in my mind as "Living a Two Track Life".

Two sets of thoughts, two sets of realities riding the curve of life.

The track on my left is our present livable moments, the track on the right are my mental future en-devour thoughts and check lists.
At some point the track of thoughts and ideas on your right need to jump over to the left track so as to carry out the mental check lists created on the right.   (In our case it is the implementation and planning of this trip.....OR it will never happen.)

At times, especially at night when I am trying to fall asleep, my mind has a very high pre-occupation rate....and I tend to stay up later than I intend.  (Thank goodness I am a night owl.  Hoot!)  It is at this time where the mental track jumping happens.  I am able to put aside the duties of the everyday and while the house is quiet....(except for some snoring) I am able to crossover some checklist tidbits to the left side 'action tracks' (or more fun - the "Get 'er Done" tracks.)

Living a Two Track Life varies from the life I have created for myself over the last few years....where I like feeling centered.   It seems my centered-ness nowadays - I have to work on harder ....and at moments - it is a coat I am not wearing well.  (My apologies to friends who have seen this coat!)

So I keep entering thoughts purposely rather than organically at the moment - just to keep my focus on the small tasks (the left track) - Kids, Family time, work, School, groceries, connections, house work, boat checklist etc... 

I look forward to all this hard work paying off in the greatest adventure our family of four may ever have!  And that day is fast approaching........I look forward to when the two track life becomes one again.  One that is much simpler...just because we worked so hard now.